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Songs from the little red shit box

by Ben the Red

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1.
Grab your shot gun or a cricket bat to prepare for the impending undead attack find your safe place with heavy doors where you can smoke and there are pints and peanuts there for all Double tap is the only way to make sure you get away remove the head destroy all of their brains x2 You have to take their head to free their soul x2 Beware of bathrooms and cardio if you can't run fast then you'll be the first to go enjoy the little things take the Jag out for a ride do up your seat belt check the back seat and you'll be fine Double tap is the only way to make sure you get away remove the head destroy all of their brains x2 You have to take their head to free their soul x2 Double tap is the only way to make sure you get away remove the head destroy all of their brains Load the shells prepare to fight kill the Queen and kill the lights the flaming cocktails will get you far light them up and set fire to the bar shoot your flatmate in the head kill your mum make sure she's dead you have to take their head to free their soul shoot your flatmate in the head shoot bill murray in the chest you have to take their head to free their soul x 3
2.
Ben is dead 02:50
Its overcast outside thank fuck coz I can't stand the heat I'm so fucking tired, I need more sleep but I can't help myself, but to stay up late at night so I can feel alive, yeah I need to feel alive and it just so happens that the man I used to be died along time ago in a not so foreign country town where the welcome sign has a not so welcome message on the other side, on the other side it says Get out now, you dumb fuck or you'll never survive get out now you dumb fuck, or you'll never make it out alive I said get out now you dumb fuck, read the warning sign, read the warning signs Its not as simple or as matter of factual once you are captured by false advertising and subliminal messages from the people who you thought you loved and couldn't see were trying all this time to steal you away and not set you free and I wish I had an android from the future come and warn me about the border crossing and losses suffered by my sanity maybe the sign on the back of the sign was put there by the terminator before he was terminated by a newer model and before he could say Get out now, you dumb fuck or you'll never survive get out now you dumb fuck, or you'll never make it out alive I said get out now you dumb fuck, read the warning sign, read the warning signs I don't know about you but I've never responded very well to being called a dumb fuck or other hurtful names but just this once I wish that words could break my bones and force me to listen to every word it says it says Get out now, you dumb fuck or you'll never survive get out now you dumb fuck, or you'll never make it out alive I said get out now you dumb fuck, read the warning sign, read the warning signs x2
3.
Too young 03:11
Tie your laces its time to go play time begins when the little hand says so carry your bag and I'll carry mine walking home its fucking hot chip time back yard superheroes fly through the room five minute warning time to head home soon where did the time go, its gone too fast those early years never seem to last Too young to leave this world tonight too young to feel my heart alight too young to hear you say goodbye too young dear friend of mine conquering mountains with pocket monsters so much fun in a hand held game seek and destroy those puppet masters a little puff but you were still the same and you will never change alice cooper and angus young dancing around having so much fun don't put it off or never neglect it its funny how true those words have become Too young to leave this world tonight too young to feel my heart alight too young to hear you say goodbye too young dear friend of mine x 2
4.
I was trying to find piece of mind when I left unsuccessful in my previous attempts I tried walking in others footsteps and living in shadows but now I'm covering myself and thats all that matters I was never comfortable taking credit for all of the actions that put us in the position that we were in and after every time I bit my tongue its all sore and bloody and my patience has worn thin Now don't try to convince me that silence is golden because silence is just the calm before I fucking scream at you And there is nothing gold in that except for maybe my comeback but you never picked up on the subtle things and if everything you had was gone just like that I hope you remember all of the subtle things I am done with my passive aggression it got me nowhere faster than anywhere else I guess I should be thankful for the push over the edge and the opportunity to express myself coz without the opportunity we'd be stuck in the same place that we were in Now I don't have to bite my tongue Its no longer bloody all of the wounds have healed but the scars are a given Now don't try to convince me that silence is golden because silence is just the calm before I fucking scream at you And there is nothing gold in that except for maybe my comeback but you never picked up on the subtle things and if everything you had was gone just like that I hope you remember all of the subtle things Its not all your fault I'm sorry for stringing you along I was just trying to make things work just another thing I do wrong Its not all your fault I'm sorry for stringing you along I was just trying to make things work just another thing that I do wrong now I'm sure we'll both find our piece of fucking mind doing all the shit we do And there is nothing gold in that except for maybe my comeback but you never picked up on the subtle things and if everything you had was gone just like that I hope you remember all of the subtle things
5.
I spent hours in a little red shit box just so you can watch TV late at night it is so cold its the only place that I can dream in a little red shit box parked in our driveway x 2 I'll pretend that I am happy in a place thats far away not freezing my balls off needing desperately to urinate in a little red shit box parked in our driveway push the rear seats down flat so I have room to move play my guitar as loud as I fucking want hope it doesn't disturb you I'll scream until my hearts content hear the neighbours talking the next day about the man in the little red shit box parked in our drive way about the man in the little red shit box parked in our drive way about the loud inconsiderate mother fucker making way too much noise at this untimely hour singing slightly depressing self loathing shitty songs in a little red shit box parked in our driveway Please know that I'll always love you and I would do this every day if it keeps you happy, because it keeps me sane in a little red shit box parked in our driveway
6.
I think something is wrong with me paracetamol is my ecstacy I use it to relieve my migraine headache getting back to my normal high from my low before x2 Should I be taking something stronger than an over the counter medicine maybe it would help with my dance moves or my creativity never done it before, never needed anything more than an alcoholic beverage to relieve my anxiety I think something is wrong with me paracetamol is my ecstacy I use it to relieve my migraine headache getting back to my normal high from my low before x2 I don't like needles and I'm an asthmatic so my doctor says I shouldn't smoke I don't like taking tablets or pills coz I'm worried that I might choke maybe I should just learn to fucking dance, get advice from the books I read I think I'll stick to my alcoholic beverage to relieve my anxiety I think something is wrong with me paracetamol is my ecstacy I use it to relieve my migraine headache getting back to my normal high from my low before x2 I'm not a joker, a smoker, a midnight toker x 4 I think something is wrong with me paracetamol is my ecstacy I use it to relieve my migraine headache getting back to my normal high from my low before x2
7.
Silence I sit here in silence I sit here in silence and I think about myself and wonder how the fuck it is that I got here in the first place Maybe I'm thinking that maybe I'm thinking that maybe if I think too hard Maybe if I think too hard I'm gonna pass out and my presence in the present is the best fucking present with every single clap his bank balance increases he's the man I understand is fucking hammering his plan to make something out of our insecurity and I'll never get better if I talk about the weather avoiding everything coz it seems too hard just killing time telling all of those lies avoiding everything coz its all too hard avoiding everything coz its all too hard Honey I know you think that its funny but I never did and always wanted to do everything right by you One day I said one day one day I'm gonna drop a bomb of truth drop a bomb of truth that will blow you all away I'll build up the courage to say what I need to say not saving it up for a rainy day so I can look you in the eye this is my plan hope you understand that I'll never get better if I talk about the weather avoiding everything coz it all too hard just killing time telling all of those lies avoiding everything coz its all too hard x2 avoiding everything coz its all too hard so I'll look you in the eye look you in the eye oh shit its not going to plan, I'm day dreaming again oh well I'll just crawl into a hole crawl into a hole and fucking die.
8.
Sing us a song they said so I did but of course as always they weren't happy with it so I'll get more requests and have to check my list to see If I can play something that will not be dismissed I don't think you realise how disheartening it is to fucking sing your heart out and all you get is shit from people who aren't happy, they just want to get drunk and listen to a jukebox hey you do I look like a machine who the fuck is Leif Garret and what do you mean when you say sing more pub rock I thought that Khe Sahn was as pub as it got. Might have to try again X4 I've been patient with you people I've even offered to play some of the fucking awful tunes that were popular in your day I know you don't care you just want to dance and sing along it doesn't matter if I get all of the words wrong as long as I keep up the funky funky beats you'll be dancing along in your drunken seats even when you're too drunk to stand that won't stop the cheek or the smart arse comments you've been thinking of all week or the overly flirtatious remarks from the lady whose old enough to be my mum Don't want to start again x 4 At least I'm getting paid for this fucking long night but have I sold my heart and my soul for a price I've had to leave the people I love most my kids and my wife at home alone again tonight for $150 and a free beer that I can't even drink coz I have to drive and get the fuck out of here soon as I head north again I start to feel better until the guilt sinks in, I should've known better to stay true to how I feel and not leave my loves behind on another fucking long drive to the south side yeah on another fucking long drive south side on another fucking long drive to the south side I'll try again Might have to try again I don't want to start again.
9.
I'm living in denial all the time people that I love are telling lies I think I need to know the reason why now baby He thinks that I don't know but I can tell you'll never say that I don't know him well its just a truth that he must try to sell now baby its not about me so much, its more about him I can forgive if he'll just let me in please don't shut me off it can't be better that way what the fuck is it that you need me to say x2 Trust isn't just important its a must and every single time you break my trust you leave me reeling cleaning up the dust now baby now I think I've finally worked it out somehow feels so good to finally hear the sound understanding the shit that just went down now baby its not about me so much, its more about him I can forgive if he'll just let me in x2 please don't shut me off it can't be better that way what the fuck is it that you need me to say x2 what the fuck is it that you need me to say
10.
Cornflakes and honey are the best when you fucking forget that you should be eating something better the best when you should be treating people better the best for you regardless of the weather Cornflakes and honey make the world go round at least my world turns round when I have another mouthful wipe away my frown turn it upside down wipe away wipe away wipe away wipe away yeah x 2 (all of it again just screaming it)
11.
I've got Friends I never see yeah good friends I never see because I'm weird and I don't want to leave my house I've got family who love me yeah I've got family who love me I've got things I need to say but don't really want to talk about You say its fine, yeah don't be silly but I feel sometimes I am missing something its not right, but thats just me I'm thinking I should get my shit together, I should get my shit together I'll project on celebrities think it would be fun if they hung out with me instead of giving time to friends that I have many times depended on and three, want four but now three I need to be the person that you need shit together and complete You say its fine, yeah don't be silly but I feel sometimes I am missing something its not right, but thats just me I'm thinking I should get my shit together, I should get my shit together You say don't cry, yeah don't be silly but I feel sometimes I am missing something its not right, but thats just me I'm thinking I should get my shit together, just in time for warmer weather yes I'll get my shit together
12.
I wrote to Jeff Rosenstock and he replied what a glorious fucking day poured my heart out into a Facebook message not a letter but its pretty much the same Hey man thanks so much for the diagnosis and the life long lesson you know it means a whole fucking lot to understand the shit that is messing with my head and my thought process thank fuck I didn't have to see a therapist you know I hate uncomfortable couches and talking about my failed childhood dreams and I could tell everyone else to go and fuck themselves but thanks to Jeff I'll just change the messages that I send my self Hey man you're not a disappointment x 3 you know that we don't give a fuck anyway she says you don't meet her requirements x 3 thats cool coz we don't give a fuck anyway The people that I truly love tell me these things all the fucking time tell me not to worry so much and that everything will be fine but in my typical fashion it always takes an external view to change my internal outlook and change the techniques that I use in my head and my thought process thank fuck I didn't have to see a therapist you know I hate uncomfortable couches and talking about my failed childhood dreams and I could tell everyone else to go and fuck themselves but thanks to Jeff I'll just change the messages that I send my self Hey man you're not a disappointment x 3 you know that we don't give a fuck anyway she says you don't meet her requirements x 3 thats cool coz we don't give a fuck anyway Hey man we understand that none of this shit was part of your plan and we don't give a fuck what they say we will love you anyway I said hey man we understand that none of this shit was part of your plan and we don't give a fuck what they say we will love you anyway Hey man you're not a disappointment x 3 you know that we don't give a fuck anyway she says you don't meet her requirements x 3 thats cool coz we don't give a fuck anyway
13.
Its hard to stop at just one episode I'll binge watch so I don't have to think at all no i don't want to think at all I'll get absorbed in all of Schofields problems even though I'm growing tired I really want to close my eyes coz I'm addicted to the drama and you know I really wanna feel detached from reality Its so much better than overthinking and I'm only watching anxiously I'm too scared to take something stronger that will really dull my senses so I'll obsess over this episode and forget about mending fences x2 coz I'm so shit at mending fences and I'm to scared to ask for help yeah I'm so shit at mending fences and I don't want to fucking talk to the neighbours

about

Some shitty things happened and it prompted me to write some new music and record all of my songs (that sound alright) in the back of my old Honda Jazz aka the 'little red shit box'. Most of my songs have a connection with the car either written while driving to and from work or written about the car itself. I had to sell the 'little red shit box' recently as it didn't fit 3 kids car seats across the back and was only getting shittier, so any music I write from now on will be just a bit different, or maybe it won't maybe the 'little red shit box' is just a place in my head???? (please don't take that seriously)

It probably seems funny to have a sentimental attachment to a Honda jazz but I was definitely sad to see it go. It really was a great little car and I loved having it as my space to play music and be honest with myself.

Anyway, i want to give this EP away for a couple of reasons, 1. because I'm not entirely sure its worth anything 2. because I'm probably not going to be making a career out of my music, i would genuinely just like to make connections with people who might be feeling a similar way to me about something and 3. because any extra complication at tax time freaks me out.

So here it is mistakes and all, with a tiny bit of EQ and ambience.

If you do happen to enjoy it fuck yeah thats great! If not thats ok too. If it stirs up some feelings and you connect with it on some level then thats the fucking best.

Cheers

Ben X

credits

released October 4, 2017

all songs written, performed, recorded by Ben Pegram
artwork by Ben the Red art
I googled mixing and mastering albums etc, so I had a go at that myself also.

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Ben the Red Yass, Australia

a couple of years ago I watched Sister Act 2 and decided to give singing a go and I didn't sound too shit, so here I am today.

I really love the idea of doing shit yourself so, I'm going to do my best to do it all without outsourcing.
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